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Caitlin: (00:00)
Hello . Hello . As usual guys as you sign on to this live, I would love for you to say hello. Let me know you’re here. Let me know you’re listening. Um, give me a comment and let me know, uh, [inaudible] with you. Yeah. [inaudible] really? Yeah, you’re here anyway. You know, you might as well. Well make the most of it and really allow this to be an experience that transforms you. So please say hello. It really means a lot. I have a great personal connect with a lot of my list nurse, but not everyone. So, so let’s get to know each other and be a community. Did he rather than just one more, um, name in your social feed. So, so hello? So today we’re talking about what to do when your goals are making you feel stressed, which is kind of where a lot of people are feeling right now.

Caitlin: (01:03)
Like they know that they want to be a certain kind of person or they want to achieve certain things in their professional life, in their personal life, in terms of wellness. And yet they’re feeling really stressed about their inability to be making those things happen faster and on time. So raise your hand or put a, like if in the comments, if you can relate to that. Um, so you have this, these goals and they’re really meaningful to you and you really care about them, but you feel really stressed because you’re not there yet and you want it to happen faster and you want it to happen more. So let me know if you can relate to that. Um, and so today we’re going to be really talking about how to deal with that, right? How to deal with that. Um, tension and stress that comes up when you have goals.

Caitlin: (01:52)
And I want to start by talking about just, just how, right you are for feeling that way. So I know on some level you don’t think you should be feeling that way. You think you should just be able to be like, la la la, I’m manifesting my life. I’m creating my life, I’m going after my goals. And it’s easy and it’s natural and it’s fun. And I don’t, I don’t feel tension. I don’t feel stressed. That’s how you want to feel. Right? Um, and that’s the story you want to tell and certainly what you want to portray on your Instagram feed, but that’s not real. And so, um, I actually want to tell you that if you are feeling stressed intention about your job or about your goals or about your dreams or about your ability to manifest or create something you’re trying to create, you are feeling just as you should be feeling.

Caitlin: (02:39)
So let’s start by that. And here’s what I mean. I think about what’s behind the word goal. Well, a goal is really an intention for your life right now. When you create intentions, it’s about going inside and it’s about dreaming about what’s possible, what you want to create, what you want to make, right, what you want to shape your life around, and think that that’s creating an intention. Also known as where that word comes from, inner tension. Because there is tension between what you are and who you are right now and what your life looks like right now and where you want to go and what you want to create. And what goal you want to be able to manifest, right? There is necessary tension, hence the word intention. So we have this intention that we do in the beginning of our yoga practice, or we just have these intentions that we make for our lives or for our years or for our new year’s resolutions or whatever they might be, right?

Caitlin: (03:38)
And that creates inner tension. It’s supposed to create tension that is the, that’s how you know that you are a creative being, living an intentional life. By seeing that tension in your body and knowing, hey, this is built into the fact that I have an intention, right? And intention creates inner tension. It’s a built in part of the process, right? So imagine just starting by making that shift, right? It’s like going to the gym because you’re trying to nurture wellness and the first day after the gym, you feel really, really sore and really tense and tight. Now you can relate to that soreness in your muscles by saying, I should not be feeling this way, right? Or, Oh my God, I’m so weak. This is a sign of how weak I am. This is a sign of how out of shape I am.

Caitlin: (04:31)
This is a sign of how bad I’ve been to my body in the last one year. Or You could say, this pain in my body is a sign that I’m on the right path. It’s a sign that I’m growing my strength. It’s a sign that I’m aligning with that. That vision I have for more wellness in my life. Right? You get to choose how you relate to the tension that comes from an intention. You get to choose how you’re going to relate to that tension and by saying, oh, this is a necessary part of the creative process. Rather than saying, hey, this is something that’s a signal of what’s wrong or bad about me is a huge part towards liberating your energy so you can keep going with it. He should’ve. Good to see you here. Hey Nicole, good to have you guys all here watching.

Caitlin: (05:19)
I’m hoping this is resonating with you. So the first part of that, like I said, is seeing that creative tension and deciding that it’s a good thing, right? Intention, having an intention means 10 means you will have tension in your body and in your mind between where you are and where you’re going. And you get to see that as a sign that you’re moving as a sign, that you’re growing as a sign, that you’re strengthening your resolve and your muscles towards what you want to go rather than a sign of how weak you are or how off path you are. Got It. That’s step one. That’s the most important step. Now let’s get a little deeper. All right? So the second thing is that you need to, when you feel yourself getting stressed about not being, not having achieved your goals yet, you need to immediately come into really forgiveness, um, through self compassion.

Caitlin: (06:07)
So let’s talk about this. So you might have found yourself, let’s say in a career path that you thought you got into intentionally. Maybe you got into marketing because you love to be creative and you love to write, right? So you thought you were intentional about that. And yet somehow in the daily hustle and bustle of life, you kind of got into this job, um, that actually doesn’t make you happy or you no longer like what you want to do or you’re just bored with it or whatever. Right? And you find yourself in this place where, um, your not living in alignment with the initial intention that you had for getting into this line of work or whatever goal you’re performing. Right? And so it’s easy again to to go back into judgment and blame. Like how could I have let this happen or what happened to my dreams or I just, you know, gave up on them or I guess I’m not good enough.

Caitlin: (06:56)
Right? It’s really, really easy to go into all of that looking in the past and saying, hey, like I haven’t been able to stay aligned with that initial intention that I had for my life. I guess that means that’s where I’m going forward as well. Right. And the fact is that it’s just, first of all, what happens when you lock yourself into that way of thinking is that you create that in your future as well. So if you decide that your past is indicative of your future, well then guess what, that’s going to be true. But if you say, oh my gosh, I belong to a culture which nurtures this numbness and this forgetfulness and this busy-ness so that, and nobody has ever encouraged to ask questions like, how is your heart? Or how are your dreams progressing? Or where is your soul at these days?

Caitlin: (07:50)
These are not the kind of conversations that we have. So of course you’re numb. Of course you forgot about your dreams or your intentions, of course you got a little busy or off track or you succumb to fear. Welcome to the world that we live in. My Love. This is natural. This is what’s happens to everyone all the time. And so saying that, that it’s, it’s somehow something wrong with you is so unrealistic and unfair and it sabotages your dreams. So you really want to learn how to practice the art of self compassion and forgiveness of your past if you want to be able to move forward into the future and create new realities, right? So having those practices of self compassion and self forgiveness, what of the world that we live in and the busy-ness it creates and the way it makes us to come to fear is very, very, very critical to having enough energy to continue to move forward towards your goals.

Caitlin: (08:47)
All right, third thing, very important change to be making as you’re starting to, as you, when you start to feel and stress around not being, not having arrived at your goals yet, right? And that is a very simple language hack called the word and a n d. So here’s what I mean by this, right? You might be frustrated to say I want to be an actor, but here I am still ghost writing for this. You know, tech, wealthy billionaires, right? And so you can feel the stress and the tension and maybe the shame and the judgment and all that kind of stuff in between where you are, where you want to be. And, and, and most people stop at just that. I want to be here, but I’m only here, but I’m only here, but I’m only here. And so introducing the word and at the end of that statement is what makes all the difference energetically.

Caitlin: (09:39)
So you say, well, I’m still in my current job and today I’m going to do one thing that’s been a make me feel more in alignment with that acting career I’m looking for. Or you say, hey, I still weigh 160 pounds and today I ate a healthy meal. It goes from that contracted, judgmental, shameful energy of I’m only this, it’s so small, it’s not good enough now to, and one more thing that’s also true. So I’m not asking you to lie to yourself. I’m not asking you to lie to yourself, con your subconscious. I’m asking you to tell the truth, the whole truth, which is not just that I haven’t reached my goal yet, it’s, I haven’t reached my goal yet and I’m on my way and I’m making progress and I’m choosing to focus on one thing that I can lighten up a little right that word and keeps you in the flow of progress rather than keeps you locked into the lack of progress.

Caitlin: (10:35)
It’s huge. All right, cool. So if you guys have questions, type them into the chat box as I’m going because I’m going through these pretty quickly. So the next hack and mindset shift, that’s so important to make when you’re feeling stressed out by your goals is to bring curiosity and bring lightness in and bring imagination in. So here’s what I mean by that, right? I was recently, um, I recently launched a program and the program, I had envisioned having a certain number of people in the program and I didn’t get that number. Now I could have stopped and said to myself, Hey, my program isn’t full. Right? Um, I could just notice and be in all of the tension and anxiety that comes with the disappointment of not having fulfilled that goal of mine. Yet I could have done that, but that again, keeps me locked into the dissatisfaction and the sadness so it doesn’t serve me right.

Caitlin: (11:35)
It doesn’t help me move forward and actually make that goal come true. What does help me is to say, all right, I’m acknowledging this reality, like my program isn’t full and now I’m going to bring curiosity in, which is just going to say, hey, how can I get one more person to enlist in my program in the next 24 hours? Right? Or instead of saying to myself, I’m not losing weight, even if it’s true, I’m not losing weight just by a week of going to the gym. Let’s start with that. I’m not losing weight. But now time to bring in the curiosity right now is to say, well, what’s a fun little way that I can feel a little lighter in my body today? Right? And so it’s, it’s again, it’s not, no, it’s not not acknowledging where you are. It’s not being untruthful with yourself, it’s just adding the fact that also let me bring in some lightness, some curiosity, some joy, right?

Caitlin: (12:25)
That’s how you sustain that momentum. Bringing in the curiosity takes the contracted energy of judgment and not enoughness and shame and frustration loosens it, lightens it, and then allows you to use it as momentum forward, right? So asking these kinds of questions of how could I be a little more in alignment? What can I do to feel a little more true to that goal today? Right? So that’s a huge, huge, huge shift that you again, make to keep that energy nice and liberated, right? Like I told you in the beginning, the feelings of tension, the feelings of stress are normal. They are signs that you are a creator of your life intentionally. They are good things. They are the soreness in your joints showing that you’re getting stronger, right? So you must have that tension. But how you relate to that tension.

Caitlin: (13:16)
If you, if you just let it be judgemental and negative, meaning it means it will keep you right here. But if you say, Hey, I’m going to see this tension as a sign of my growth and I’m going to get curious about how I can grow even more, how to make this more fun, what could be even more exciting along this journey? And I involve the word and, which says I haven’t lost weight and I’m excited for my fresh meal tomorrow. That’s what keeps that tension, energy moving and flowing in your body towards your goals, and it makes all the difference as to whether you go into self sabotage and you give up or you keep going. Tension is necessary, but you can use it to fuel you or you can use it to halt you. That is up to you whether you use the hats and the, and the tips that I’m sharing with you today.

Caitlin: (14:05)
So the fifth tip that I have for you around when you start to feel stressed and anxious about not having met a certain goal yet or not having arrived at a certain place in your life yet, is to just start to pay attention to your progress every day, right? It’s, we have a natural negativity bias in our brains. And so once again, it’s very, very, very easy for you to focus on all of the things that didn’t happen right in your day today. That time that you got rejected when you asked for a raise or the time that, um, you know, you were, you know, you’re trained in income and you were forced to be late and you screwed that up. It’s part of what, feels us to be safe. However, making a it conscious habit out of journaling and saying, what is one step of progress that I did make today towards my goal?

Caitlin: (15:02)
That is incredible important, right? So then you’re saying like, well, here’s all the things that’s, that’s going wrong. Here’s what’s happening, here’s all this other kinds of stuff. So just switching actively into, well, this is what I am have manifested today. Even if it was a small mind shift shift set, even if it was just one small change you made, even if it was just, um, a light conversation, you had to keep your dream alive. You did something that day, right? So paying attention to your progress through journaling every single day about one thing you did that helped you move in the right direction is going to really, really, really start to balance out that negativity bias that automatically comes in. So that’s a critical, critical habit that you can develop, that you can choose.

Caitlin: (15:52)
And guess what? All of that tension and stress you feel in your body, you can channel right into that journaling, right? You’d just say, here’s all this tension and stress. What do I do with all this energy? I’m going to mad journal about all the progress I have possibly made. Use that same energy. All right, cool. And the last and probably the most important of all of this might actually be creating an identity based on courage, right? And so what I mean by that is figure out what you stand for in life, right? So here’s one thing that I stand for beyond probably everything else is radical self-expression. I do not believe that people need shifted themselves into boxes in order to fit a society, certain societal norm. I think that’s the most toxic thing you can do for your mental and emotional health. And I think it’s the most toxic thing you can do for the world because you were born as you are for a reason, you are special and you are gifted and you and even your darker sides add and give you perspective to all the strengths in the light.

Caitlin: (16:50)
So you are meant to be who you are. And I’m going to fight like hell for self-expression, right everyday of my life. And so when I do feel fear and tension and stress about not being, uh, more than, you know, further along in my career or not having, you know, more money or not having, you know, manifest exactly what I want, I say, okay, well I can let those fears just sit inside my body and sabotaged me completely and get in my way and make me feel anxious. Or I can say I am somebody who radically stands for self-expression. And my commitment to self-expression is more important than my fears about my job. And more important about than my judgments of me not being good enough. My commitment to self expression is more important than all of that. And so what that means is that if I don’t have a program that’s full and I feel embarrassed because I tried to market program and only 10 people signed up and I really need a 20 in order to make it a profitable program, I could let fear get in the way and say, I guess I did a bad job.

Caitlin: (17:58)
I guess I still didn’t figure out marketing. I guess I’m like still not on my way. Um, and then maybe shut down the program cause it’s not profitable for me. Or I could say to myself, you know what? My mission of radical self expression is more important to me than this fear and I am going to work like crazy to power that dream no matter how much I’m feeling fear in my body. So I am going to go out and individually talk to every single person I know and try to get someone signed up for this program because this is more important, right? More important than my fear is my commitment to my mission, right? What is your mission and is, are you going to choose to let that be more important than your fear? That’s the decision you have to make. No one can make it for you, but once you decide who you are and what you stand for, you can come back to that and say, hey, here’s this judgement I have that I made this mistake that I went off the rails.

Caitlin: (18:55)
Here’s this fear that I have, that I’m not good enough, that I’m not worthy enough, that I’m not allowed. I can take all of that and I can let it sit inside of me and sabotage me and turn me off and I can be one more person who gave up on my dreams. Or I can decide that my mission is more important and that I was brought onto this earth to fulfill this mission and fulfill this mission. I will at any freaking costs and feel proud of that, right? That’s your choice. So once again, here we come into this idea that tension is created through intention. So when you have an intention, you will feel tension, you will feel a knowingness that you are not at your intention yet and that will build tension in your body. And you have a choice to relate to that as a sign of your growing up again, to focus on your progress, to bring in the word and as often as possible to be compassionate about all the Times you’ve gotten off course because life is life.

Caitlin: (19:53)
And we get busy and stressed and overwhelmed sometimes, right? And or, or, or, or you can say, my fear is gonna rule this all my doubt, all my mistakes, I’m going to let them win and I’m turning off. That’s up to you. But it’s tension. That energy is there to serve you. You just have to see it as good. You just have to put good ideas and good thoughts behind it. It’s yours, my love. You can do it. So if this live resonated with you, I have a really, really, really exciting announcement for you. Um, which is that I have this, it’s an invitation only group called the heart awakening alliance. It’s for creative and compassionate humans and really specifically women, um, who are trying to create a more soulful life, a life that’s more aligned with their souls and they’re just really struggling with the process.

Caitlin: (20:45)
Um, and so if speaks to you, if you’ve just feel like constantly hijacked by stress and self doubt and like worry and like always like feeling like you’re angry cause nothing’s working out for you or like if that’s the kind of stuff that resonates with you, then I’m starting another batch of, of this incredibly wonderful program I have called the heart awakening alliance and it’s a deeply, deeply spiritual group that brings together a really only five or six women who are, who are doing this. We were creating their lives intentionally trying to align with their soul’s vision intentionally and just want to have a spiritual path for doing that so that they don’t have to give into that tension and the stress. And the overwhelming kill themselves in the process of creating their dreams. So if that resonates with you, um, we have to have a one-on-one talk because I don’t let just anyone into this program, please write to me.

Caitlin: (21:39)
Um, you can send me a comment or send me a private message. I’m going to be starting it again in two weeks. Um, it’s a really high vibe group of women who aren’t creating their life intentionally, but it’s very spiritual. Um, and you’re going to have to get used to hearing God, uh, hearing God referred to as she, and it’s as spirit and then the spirit that lives within you and learning how to start a work with that energy. That’s really, it’s a high level group for people who are really, really committed to manifestation of their soul’s desires in a way that feels aligned and beautiful and joyful and not stressful and terrible and overwhelming and like you’re fighting against the world. So if that resonates with you, send me a message and we can talk about it.

Caitlin: (22:21)
And of course for all of those of you who don’t feel like you’re at the level of the heart awakening alliance, yeah. Like you’re not really quite ready to join that deeply spiritual intentional group. You just really working on how do I get through my day? How do I, uh, you know, feel, you know, to beat the anxiety that comes up at work. Um, how can I, like what do I even want to create in my life and what are my values? Who am I as a person? Well then for you, freedom from anxiety. My other program is the perfect program. It’s gonna make you super clear on who you are, what you want to create, but also how to manage this skills, like emotional skills of keeping your mind in a good place. It’s, it’s really the one on one on kind of emotional management and mental health management.

Caitlin: (23:08)
So I’ll put the links for freedom from anxiety. It’s only $399 for the month of July. Highly, highly, highly recommend you start freedom from anxiety now. And then when you’re ready, when you’ve gotten the clarity on who you are, what you want to create, and what your, and really how to kind of start to work with your mind through mindfulness and through various energetic practices, you might be ready for the Heart awakening alliance the next time around, but either way, right? To me, sign up. This stuff is going to change your life. It has changed mine and so many other people and I can not wait to share all this stuff with you. Happy manifesting, happy creating. Know, that tension is a good thing and you are on the path. Namastay