When did you decide to give up?
If you want to feel fulfilled, successful, and happy every single day of your life, then there are 2 questions you need to answer:
1. If tomorrow a miracle were to happen and all of your wildest dreams came true, what would your life look like?
What would your dream home look like? What kind of partner would you have? What kind of work would you do? What would your body look like?
Can you imagine yourself living out your dreams with me for a moment? Notice how you’ll feel once you achieve it … how you’ll spend your days …. how you’ll share your success with friends and family.
Alright, now here’s the second question:
2. When did you give up on those dreams?
When did you decide to settle for less than what you really wanted out of life? And why?
If you’re like most people, you let go of your dreams when a big, scary, “what if” got in the way.
What if I quit this awful job in search of something better but I don’t find another job?
What if I go for it and say “Hey world, this is my gift to you … what I really want to put out there,” and everyone is like, “No, thanks!”?
What if I leave him, but it turns out he is the only person who will ever love me again? And I’m alone. Forever.
What to do with the “What ifs” when trying to achieve your goals
It’s OK to ask the “what if” questions. But if you can’t move past them, if you let them fester, they’ll create a paralyzing fear… and then your goals don’t stand a chance.
But here’s the good news … as with everything in life, you have choices. When your fear brain cooks up a long list of doubts, you have two directions you can take.
Option 1: Answer every one of those “what ifs” with “Yep, that’s what will probably happen. Dream over.” Then just give up and tell yourself that it’s not meant to be.
Option 2: Keep going.
What’s the difference between those of us who choose option 1 and those who choose option 2?
What you choose to belief about the way success works.
The most important decision you’ll ever make to have a happy life
Take a moment to get into your body. Feel your breath in your stomach, and in your chest. Then, listen for your gut reaction to this question:
“Do you think the universe has your back?”
If you answered yes, then you’re probably the kind of person who consistently achieves your goals. Who chooses Option 2. Who keeps going no matter how scary all the “what ifs” are along the road.
If you answered no, then you’re probably the kind of person who has settled. Who chooses Option 1. Who lets fear get in the way of your dreams.
Or, if you prefer to hear it from a literal genius …
“The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or a hostile universe.” ~ Albert Einstein
See, if you believe we live in a hostile universe—one that works against us—then giving into the “what-ifs” and the fear they bring will be the norm for you.
You’ll see scarcity and struggle wherever you look. You’ll believe your opportunities are limited and that it’s next to impossible to make anything happen in the crazy competitive world.
You’ll think you were born a screw-up, and you’ll be too tough on yourself because you think you’re not as good as those people dreams do come true for. You’ll constantly battle perfectionism, anxiety and depression.
If you believe the universe is a hostile place that is out to make everything difficult for you, you’ll never take that big leap that most dreams require. Your ego will convince you that before you do anything, you need to have all the answers:
- How’s it gonna happen?
- Will I be able to handle it?
- Will I actually enjoy or want it once it happens?
- What will I do when you eventually fail?
You’ll get stuck in an endless loop trying to answer those questions, because there is no definite answer to any of them. Or at least none that you can know before you try.
And that leap will go unlept.
But, if you choose to believe we live in a friendly universe, you’ll know that anything you dream is possible. That life is an adventure to be enjoyed and your mistakes and your history don’t define you. They give you strength and character, but they are not who you are.
You’ll be positive and unbeatable. You’ll bounce right back up when you hit a rough patch. Because you know, ultimately, the universe wants what’s best for you and all you have to do is show up and put in the work.
How to develop positive beliefs and achieve your goals
Hopefully the choice is an obvious one. But, like I said it’s not always that easy to change or choose a belief.
So how do you do it? How do you choose to truly believe the universe is friendly, especially when you’ve faced so much adversity throughout your life?
Well, when I work with clients who are struggling with this, we develop a mantra that helps them get really energized around this belief. It’s an idea that they can really get behind and they practice looking for evidence in their lives to support this belief. Something like “I live in a friendly universe and everything works out as it should.” Or, “The universe is my buddy and it wants me to have everything I need to be happy.” Or something as simple as, “The universe has my back.”
Then, inevitably, they come to me excited…reporting signs of their new BFF, the universe, proving their mantra true.
Once you’ve found a mantra that feels good to you, practice reciting it and really feeling what it means to you as you say it … as often a possible.
And to strengthen your belief in your mantra, look for evidence around you to support it. The more you start to see the friendly universe in action, the faster your mantra will become a hard and fast belief.
Hold on to your dreams, let go of your expectations
And although believing the world is a friendly benefactor is key, you also have to keep an open mind about how your dreams will be delivered to you. Know the universe supports your dreams, but don’t focus on your own expectations for how it will happen.
Don’t label things as negative or disappointing or fails. This almost guarantee you’ll miss some great opportunities to discover beauty among those challenges.
Instead, focus on the richness in each and every experience. Look for the love and abundance that’s in absolutely everything. The more you appreciate all the ways the universe supports you in each moment—the good and bad ones—the more signs of support you’ll see popping up all over the place.
You’ll realise that deciding whether the universe is friendly or hostile is really a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe it’s hostile, it will be. If you believe it’s friendly, it will be.
You decide. But if you want a life of fulfillment, excitement, and the joy that comes from pursuing and accomplishing your dreams, I highlight recommend you choose option #2 🙂
Have you ever felt out of sync with your real self? Like you’ve hustled hard to follow all the guidelines you’ve been given for living a happy life, and yet some deeper part of you still feels rudderless or unfulfilled?
Well, this workbook will put an end to all your doubts and distresses. In it, I take you through the exact, step-by-step process I use with clients to create abundant clarity and joy in their lives.